Memories
by Beth Smith
Summary: Gerry's thoughts on his life and memories.
1. Becoming a Titan

DISCLAIMER: The Original Titans are not mine. Neither are the Titans created by Disney. Neither is Emma Hoyt. But, sadness overtakes me as I type...Ryan Hurst is not mine either. He's the hottest guy I've ever seen, and...Well, life goes on, even when the perfect guy is an actor dude you've never met. I still haven't seen "The Ladykillers." Strict parents...It's rated R, and they're all, "Are you 17? No. Then you don't watch R rated movies." :*^( Then the overwhelming urge over takes me to say, "You watch R rated movies, and you're not 17." But that never goes over too well...  
  
MY NOTES: This isn't really a story. It's just a group of Gerry one-shots. I will update on an "as I feel like it" basis. It will take a backseat to my other fics. But it's OK, 'cause no chapter really connects to another. It's gonna be in Gerry's POV, so if you don't like POV, or you don't like Gerry, this ain't for you... Sorry for any racist remarks here in the beginning. Gerry did start the movie off as a racist jerk. And as best friends with Ray Budds. *shudders at the thought of being anywhere NEAR Ray Budds* And I know that my language is probably a little mild for an 18 year old guy. Especially a jock. But I hafta try to keep this pretty clean. I wanna keep it at PG. So, sorry if the way Gerr talks is a little off. Did I just call him Gerr? Is that weird? I don't know. Having a nickname that you call someone you've never met. Course the Fabulous Kora and Jel call Alan Ally. (Another habit I've picked up...)  
  
DEDICATION: I think I'm gonna send this one out to Grace, since she shares my obsession with Ryan H. *sighs* He is beautiful. Just beautiful.  
  
~Becoming a Titan~  
  
I can't believe this. Our school, Hammond, is integratin' with the colored school, GW. A buncha race-mixers and trouble-makers are makin' us integrate, so it can look like Alexandria's one happy little town of brothers and sisters. Bull! I ain't never gonna call some colored boy my brother. I'd rather lay in my grave and rot.  
  
We're leavin' for training camp tomorrow. At least there's one good thing. I'll ride up there with Budds and Alan. They're my best friends. Good guys, too. We almost took care of that riot down at the store where that colored kid got shot. I still don't know why Coach made us quit. He's a good guy, and a good coach, I just don't understand him. Coach Tyrell told me that I shouldn't embarrass the coach, but he said my heart's in the right place. I ain't sure Yoast agrees with him. I ain't sure why. I don't like this race-mixin'. I don't want any of my friends to lose their positions to some colored boys. I ain't too worried about losin' mine, 'cause I'm an all-American. A two year all-American. Betcha can't none of them colored boys take my position.  
  
-Gettysburg College-  
  
We're at camp now. They gave the colored coach the head coachin' job. What the heck do they think they're doin'? Yoast's been coach for years. I know he was head coach when I was a kid. So why should he hafta give his job up? Just to make the coloreds happy, I guess. They sure seem happy about it. Course they would. We're just puttin' them in places where they shouldn't be. They're gonna get so uppity we won't be able to do nothin' with 'em. They'll just take over Alexandria.  
  
Boone humiliated me and Budds when we tried to talk with him about playing positions. He called me Jerry Lewis and he called Ray Dean Martin. Then the big jerk made me say he was my daddy. Jerk. He ain't my daddy, and I don't give a flip if he's the head coach. I work for Bill Yoast. I woulda quit if he'd left. He's the only reason I'm here.  
  
I'm stuck in a room with a trouble-maker from the 'Burg. He's a pain in the rear-end. We got in a fight today, 'cause he had a picture of some colored band on the wall. I told him to take it down, and he wouldn't, so I was gonna take it down myself. So he decided to hit me. Then Alan showed up, so the whole team got into it. Then, Boone blessed us out, and we went to work.  
  
I'm glad I play defense, so I ain't under his jurisdiction. At least, not directly.   
  
I can't wait to call Emma tonight. Course, knowin' her, she'll have a group of girls sittin' around her so they can giggle like mad when she tries to make me say I love her. It ain't that I don't love her, I just think it's stupid that I have to say it everytime I talk to her. Oh, well, that's just one of the problems that comes when you're dating...  
  
I'm sick of this Julius guy! He's such a jerk! He is just trying to get me started. What is his problem? I mean, I ain't doin' nothin' but mindin' my own business, and he's just tryin' to pick a fight. I don't get it.   
  
Oh, well!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
Man, that Julius Campbell is tickin' me off. We were runnin' a 44 Stacked, and Campbell just pulled some stupid, show-off move. I told him to learn his job and do it right. Then he jumped down my throat for "singlin' him out." I coulda killed him. Then he started pushin' me around. So I lit into him, and then Hines, the other colored coach, blessed us out. I'm about to get pretty dang sick of Campbell and his crap. He told me that I ain't doin' my job. That I need to tell the guys to block for Rev, the colored QB, better. I don't know... Maybe Ray could be trying a little harder.   
  
Then we had to learn about each other. Which was the worst thing ever. He told me random details about his family and I told him random facts about mine. I better write it down now or I'll forget it for Boone's interrogation.  
  
Julius Campbell  
  
Dad's name: Charles  
  
Mom's name: Hazel  
  
Siblings: One older sister, Debra; One younger brother, Derrick; Two younger sisters, Darlene and Donna  
  
Favorite Bands: Temptations and Steam  
  
Favorite food: Shrimp  
  
Favorite drink: Grape Nehi(He hates milk with a passion)  
  
Favorite color: Navy Blue  
  
He told me some other stuff, but I don't think I'll forget it...  
  
I didn't tell him everything about me. If I told him, I don't think he'd care. Like the fact that my dad died when I was 13, and that I still miss him like everything. Or that sometimes I still wish I was 12, so my dad could still be alive. But, like I said, he wouldn't care.  
  
I gotta go, now. I need some rest. Boone's got us runnin' three-a-day practices, and it ain't no easy task.  
  
  
  
See ya.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Well, me and Julius are gettin' along just fine now. Boone woke us up at 3:00 this morning, and we took a run through the woods to the Gettysburg battleground. He gave a speech about how we have to come together or our hatred will destroy us like it destroyed those who died there.  
  
  
  
Lord, I'm tired. But I'm happy. I blessed Ray out tonight for not blockin' for Rev. And, believe it or not, it felt pretty darn good. No, it felt great.  
  
I don't know how the Titans are gonna do athletically, but I'm guessin' we'll be pretty good. But I do know this. No matter how many games we win or lose, we'll all be a heck of alot better off for this integratin'.  
  
I gotta go, 'cause me and Julius are goin' to get some sodas up at the store.  
  
See ya. 


	2. My Worst Nightmare Don't Even Come Close

DISCLAIMER: Titans ain't mine. Camaros aren't mine either, even though I wish they were... Gerry ain't mine, but I wish Ryan Hurst was... You knew that, though. The nurse, Alice, isn't mine, and Jean Bertier isn't mine. Emma isn't mine either, but I don't think she's in this chappie... Oh, well...  
  
MY NOTES: Thanks for the reviews, Sunny, Shan, Sona Camdyn, and Grace. You know, Grace...we might have been twins. I think we were Arabic princesses and Ryan was our slave. He fanned us all day and fed us grapes. Without a shirt on. ;-) And Shan, don't feel like you hafta read this, just because its mine. If you don't like POV, you don't hafta read POV... But I love you, too, doll! Most of these things were written as cures for writer's block, but I polished 'em up.  
  
~My Worst Nightmare Don't Even Come Close~  
  
I can't believe this has happened to me. Not me! I'm the only all-American on the TC Williams Titans football team. How could this happen to me?  
  
I was driving my Camaro about an hour ago, not a care in the world. I ran a stop sign. God, help me! Just one stupid decision. I didn't even think about it. I just did it. Now I wish I had stayed with Julius.  
  
When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed with tubes all over me. I couldn't feel my legs, but I figured since I had just had a really bad wreck, a little numbness was probably normal.  
  
Until the doctor came in. I could look at him and tell something was wrong. "Mr. Bertier?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," I replied. "Call me Gerry. I'm to young to be mister anything."  
  
"Gerry, I've got some bad news."  
  
I swallowed hard. I didn't know what he was gonna say. I really didn't want to know. But I had to. "What's up?"  
  
The doctor looked at me. My mother was beside me, holding my hand.  
  
"Go ahead."   
  
"You're...you're paralyzed from the waist down, Gerry. I'm sorry."  
  
No. Not me. Anything but being paralyzed. Not that.  
  
"Gerry, if you have any questions, let me know," he said.  
  
I couldn't look at him, and it was all I could do not to demonstrate my extensive vocabulary. He had just told me that I was losing my ability to walk. And to play football. But, to be honest...football ain't too high up on my priority list.  
  
Ma was cryin', and it kinda made me mad. Mad in a selfish way. But mad. I thought I should be cryin', not her. But I was numb. I don't know why, I just had to be mad at somebody. Human nature.  
  
I told Ma I wanted to see Julius. Not to send anybody but Julius.  
  
And here I am, alone in a hospital room. I gotta see Julius. Alice is in here. She's the nurse. And she's really gettin' on my nerves. Not because she's not nice, she is. It's just that... I don't want her here. I want to be alone. Here comes Julius. I hope he's OK, 'cause I sure ain't.  
  
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
  
A/N: Sorry it's so short, but y'know... 


	3. Once a Titan

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own "Remember the Titans." No, I don't own the real Titans. No, I don't own the Disney Titans, or Emma, or "Bertier's momma." And that phrase most likely belongs to Big Blue...lol. I know this is muy sad, but...so's my life... just kidding. I don't own Ryan Hurst, so I guess that does make my life somewhat sad... *sobs* And, Miss Grace, if I get Ryan, I'll do my best to share. I don't know if it'll work though...I'm very protective of my men...I might swap him for your Camaro... NAH! I better keep 'im. Joe Camel is not mine, thankfully. I don't smoke... Which is good today, 'cuz I have a sore throat, thanks to Mr. Pollen...  
  
MY NOTES: I loves all my reviewers! If I didn't list you here, it's not because I'm not grateful...It's because the stupid thing says I have more reviews, but it won't let me see 'em... ;-P so I'll try to get to ya in the next chappie...  
  
~Once a Titan...~  
  
Man, I can't believe this. I'm watching the Titans play for the state title. On TV. From a hospital bed. I'm supposed to be out there, not layin' here. But I'm paralyzed, as I've already said. And now there's other guys doin' my job. Tacklin'. I should be there. Nobody who ain't been there knows the rush you get when you're out on that field, knowin' that you'll be out there knockin' somebody on their rear ends in just a little bit. But not today. Not ever again.  
  
Ma walked into the stands and got applauded her. Then they started chanting, "Gerry! Gerry!"  
  
It made me feel good, even though it's just because they feel sorry for me. Ah! I hate it when people feel sorry for me. But they do. Prob'ly always will. What a life to look forward to.  
  
They're trailin', dang it. It's halftime, and they're trailin'. Stupid Joe Camel commercial. I can't stand smoke. So how's that for a former jock? I should actually prob'ly be drinkin'. Nah.  
  
They just came in and put Petey in at linebacker. Alan gave him his position. Good ol' Alan. That guy has always been the best.  
  
They got Glascoe playin' my position tonight. It's so tough watchin' this go on, and not bein' able to do a stupid thing. I hate it.  
  
Titans just took defense again. 1st down, no problem. Big idiot just ran right into Campbell. 2nd down...Whoo-hoo! Dang it! First down again. C'mon guys! I need to go down there and give 'em a tongue lashing. But I can't. I'm the captain of the team, and I can't even do my job.  
  
Oh, my Lord! Petey just pulled a turnover! Yeah! Run, Petey, ru... They got him. C'mon don't drop the...YEAH! Petey held the ball! Awesome work, Jones!  
  
We got the ball. And we got enough time for one more play. And it sure better be a good one.  
  
Why the heck are they callin' Rev in? There not gonna...Oh, Lord, yep they are. Fake 23 Blast with a Backside George Reverse. It's our trick play. One we never planned on using. But with both Rev and Sunshine out there, it can only mean one thing. And that's a Fake 23. So...here we go...  
  
Sunshine catches the snap, passed it off, Rev ran down field, Sunny right behind 'em, Greene made the pass, Smooth catch by Rev. He runs and...crosses the goal line.  
  
I can't think straight anymore. We won!  
  
See ya! I gotta soak it up.  
  
-Gerry Bertier #42  
  
~...Always a Titan.~ 


	4. A Lifelong Decision

DISCLAIMER: None of the Titans are mine. Neither are the coaches or Emma. Nobody from Remember the Titans is mine. I wish Ryan Hurst was mine...But life goes on... Even without him... *sniffle*  
  
MY NOTES: I saw Ryan on Touched by an Angel last night. He was kinda a redneck, but he still looked really good! Man, did he ever... *sighs* He had a scruffy beard that actually didn't look too bad...In fact, it looked really good. And sideburns suited him pretty well, too. Ah... Well, thanks to the reviewers...   
  
Sunny- I love you, girl! You're the best!  
  
Shan- Thanks! You're right! I can always use support! And I guess this is sorta a journal...   
  
Grace- Yeppie Doodle! I knew that the beautiful Ryan made the 16mm montage. Which was almost as good as the rest of the movie. Especially the car smashing scenes. YEAH! But I didn't really know what to say about the in-between things... I thought about ya' last night when I was watchin' Touched by an Angel. =D  
  
Sheena- I don't know if you'll ever read this, but your review for my ACD made me blush. You are so sweet!  
  
~A Lifelong Decision~  
  
Lord, help me. I don't know what to do. I love Emma so much, and I want to ask her to marry me. But why would she want me? Why now? I'm just a cripple. I won't be any good to her. I don't even know why she stayed with me this long.  
  
Coach Yoast said she loves me. But how would he know? I don't know. Maybe I'm making this more than it is... I just want Emma to have the best outta life. And that ain't me. Not by a long shot.  
  
I guess I'll just... Well, I'll ask her. That's all I can do. The worst she can do is...Nope! I ain't even gonna write it down. I can't even think about it... Then I wont have the nerve.  
  
What's wrong with me? I was a freakin' all-American linebacker. I ain't supposed to get nervous. Maybe I better talk to Julius. Let him slap me...or somethin'. Gah! I don't know... I better quit thinkin'. It's givin' me a dang migraine. :-)  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
She said Yes! Whoo-hoo! She said YES! She's gonna marry me! I just smacked myself. I gotta cut out this high school girl stuff. I'm acting like some of those crazy girls acted when Sunshine looked at 'em. Even if it was just by accident. 'Course, I'm gettin' married. I got a right to act like a fool.  
  
Y'know, I'm glad my 9th grade English teacher made us write in a journal. I used to think a journal was something a girl used to write about her favorite boy... But once I started, it became, I don't know, like an addiction. Sometimes this thing keeps me out of trouble. Like, I get really mad, and I just write it down instead of saying something stupid. Unfortunately, most of the time I don't write in it until after I have to cure myself of foot-in-mouth syndrome.  
  
Well, I asked her, and she put her arms around my neck and kissed me. Man, her lips were so soft, and she's so... I don't know...She's precious to me. I can't even explain her. And she promised to be my wife.  
  
  
  
I can't wait...  
  
~Bertier 


	5. Emma's Big News

DISCLAIMER: Yeah...The whole "I don't own it" thing... That's all of that, cuz I'm gettin' sick of saying it!  
  
MY NOTES: I loves Gerry! I'm glad I didn't forget this fic. I kinda like it...Hope everyone else does, too!  
  
As always, thanks to my reviewers. You guys ROCK!  
  
-Emma's Big News-  
  
I can't believe this! Emma just told me that...Oh, good grief! I can't even believe it, much less put it here. Emma just told me that... That we're having a baby. She's pregnant!  
  
She'd resting now, and I wish I could just watch her for hours. We're both so happy. We're having a baby!  
  
I don't know, though. I just don't know if I'm ready to be a father. I mean, I'm only 20, and Emma's 19. I just...I don't... Being married is one thing, but having a baby is totally different. I...Am I too young, or too...I don't know. What if it's a boy. I won't be able to play sports with him, or teach him football. He'll just have a cripple for his dad...Dang it! I swore to Coach Yoast that I'd quit callin' myself that!  
  
I got home from work today, and Emma had this huge supper ready. All my favorites. She even made German chocolate cake from scratch. Then, after we ate, she sat down on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. Then she kissed me and said, "Gerr, we're...We're havin' a baby."  
  
For once, it might have been a good thing that my legs don't work. I don't think I would've been able to stay in that chair. I would've been jumping around like an idiot, whoopin' and hollerin', and otherwise makin' a fool outta myself.  
  
But anyway...We're havin' a baby. Me and Emma. I can't even comprehend it.  
  
Man, Emma's beautiful. I love her so much. She's everything. And now, we're havin' a baby. How many times have I said that already?  
  
I guess I'm gonna sit here and watch her sleep. Just look at her. And keep thinkin', "We're havin' a baby."  
  
...............  
  
A/N: DANG that was short! Too short! 


End file.
